Brushing On My Testimony/ Refelction Time

I really dont know if anyone, other than me, will ever read this blog. If they dont, thats fine, because it honestly helps me collect my thoughts, put my figuritve "ducks" in a row, and equally important: it helps me reflect. Someday I will write my entire testimony out, in its entirety. I think that there is something special in each individuals path to the Saviour. Mine is a long and winding path on a journey that is far from over.

I was born into a Christian home, praise God. My dad is a deacon and my mom has always been active in teaching Sunday School and function in every way possible. I think they are where I get my servants heart. I want to be as active as I can possibly be in the ministry of the Church. I want to reach out to those who are afflicted, offer anything I can. I want to be that proverbial "Cup of Cold Water". I havent always held onto this conviction, however. It is very important, however fundamental and simplistic as this may sound to some, to understand that being born to Christian heritage does not guarantee anyone Salvation. This is a concept that I have never struggled with, Ive understood this since I was a small child. Understanding and practicing are two seperate matters however. When I was a boy, I think I was 4, I walked down the aisle and gave the preacher every answer he wanted to hear. I knew the answers in my head, even as child. I did miss the most important thing though, and that is the personal connection with Jesus Christ. I was 4 years old, completely missed the boat, and was lost. I knew that I was lost throughout my childhood but was afraid to act. My dad was a deacon, my mom a faithful servant, I even started working part time at the church when I turned 16. I lived a lie. I was afraid of what might happen and what people might think if they found out that I, a church employee and key member of the youth group, had been living this lie for so long. I kept it in for far too long and slowly started to destruct. I never went out and did anything crazy, thats not really in my nature. I did live seperated from God and it killed me inside. On April 23rd of 2004 I finally reached my breaking point. I broke down before the Christ and accepted Him as my Lord and Saviour. A weight was lifted off of my heart, it was truly the most amazing day of my life. My life since that point has been full of ups and downs but the Lord remains faithful. I have done things, even since my Salvation, that I truly regret and am very sorry for. Im clearly not a perfect person, none of us are, but our Saviour is. I am sorry for the sins I have commited and have been forgiven in full. There are still people that, one day, I need to ask personal forgiveness from. That will come with time.

It sounds cliche' but I have learned so much through my mistakes and failures. I think there is much to be learned through our successes, but I think our failures and how we deal with them shape who we are and who we become. I am pressing on, my head held high, past my low points and into a new day.

Greetings

Hello everyone. My name is Andrew Crabtree and conventionally speaking I am not special. In the traditional sense I am incredibly "normal". I am caucasian, without any real cultural background (I'm more English than anything). I am of average height, I dont have any unique features, or any incredible skills to speak of. However, I believe I am special, despite the stereotypical mold I fit in this society. I am special because God made me so. I am His creation and ,because He made me different than anyone else in the history of the universe, I can feel unique.
Brushing back to the subject of my borderline boring "normalcy": I am not incredibly educated (Im currently in my 4th semester of Junior College), I am not incredibly wealthy and I am not famous. I write in this blog for a few reasons. Writing about my life experiences helps me to reflect and draw strength from my mistakes, and affirmation from my successes. Writing, to me, helps me collect my thoughts and organize them.

The first experience that I am going to write about here deals with an incredibly difficult situation that I was forced to endure this past week. I will start by briefly setting up the senario with a little background: I am, for the time being, employed by a seed business. Ive worked there for two years and am comfortable with my job. Long story short: I have been told that I will no longer be needed after May 1st. This was a total absolute shock to me. I was devestated because I had planned on working there through college. I went straight to my Lord and Savior for strength and was surprised (though I shouldnt have been) to find that I was filled with a sense of peace that can only come from the Lord. After placing the situation in His hands I was quickly guaranteed a job from my father getting started on the job that I will be taking after college. It boils down to this: I was distraught over the loss of my comfortable job, I gave it to God, I got a job that will ultimately end up being better for me. I will be gaining 2 years of experience in my field when I go to work fulltime in 2 years. How great is our God! Trusting God fully is not something that comes easy to me. Since I beacame a Christian in April of 2004 (a story I plan on writing about at a later time) trusting God is an area that I have to consiously try and grow.
With more and more experience, and more and more help from Christian friends and mentors, I will continue to grow in my faith and trust in the Lord.